Bringing "Work-culture" home....

When you work at home during weekends or after office hours, you would usually hear your spouse or parents or friends complain saying - "Hey! Dont get your work, home" and then you feel guilty and shut your laptop after repeated taunts on "Work-Life Balance". While this is usual, the latest phenomenon is to bring 'work-culture', home and when that happens, your near & dear 'stakeholders' might be at their wits end! Below are some day to day situations which are getting influenced due to the work culture- could be -borrowed, imagined, actually-experienced but something a2z employees will be able to relate to! (PS: to be read in a lighter vein & no pun intended)

Situation 1: Parents & unmarried son

Preparing for the "Phone screen"

Mom: "I have been asking you to speak to that girl-Ms Manocha and atleast see if you both gel along. You are 30 now and I am worried about your marriage. I have done the background verification and it all looks fine to me"

Employee-Son: "Mom, request you to book a slot for me for the Phone screen round from 1pm to 2pm, post which I will decide if I want to call her on-site!"

After 2pm....

Mom: " So, how was it, Son?"

Employee-son (after Phone-screen 1): " Mom, I am marginally inclined, not very sure about her maturity but you should setup another round with my ex to check if she is a fit for the role, considering she knows what she will get into."

Ex (after Phone screen-2): "I am 'inclined' based on her previous experiences and her curiosity to learn as well as manage stakeholders. But we need someone experienced during onsite to evaluate if she is better than atleast 50% of the 'wives' !

Mom(now, assimilating the culture): "Request everyone to please share detailed notes , meanwhile I will setup an onsite discussion with our relatives and my mother-in-law being the bar-raiser" !!

Situation 2: Husband, wife & maid

Husband (to his wife): "Why did you fire the maid? Now who will do the cleaning of the house etc?"

Employee-Wife: "The maid was not showing any 'BAI-as' for action". I even coached her and kept the neighbour's maid as her mentor to help her ramp up in terms of faster cleaning of vessels etc. But even after 6 weeks, her productivity is below the overall building's maids."

Husband: "But what will we do now? At least she did something. Now we have no one."

Employee-Wife: "Don't worry, I have opened a request with watchman to look out for a suitable candidate externally. In parallel, I am looking internally in our building whatsapp group for any references- for eg: Maid at Mrs Mehta was looking to grow and considering our house is big and little more complex, would be a good opportunity. However, Mrs Mehta first needs to recruit a backfill, post which she will confirm the movement!"

Husband(now, assimilating the culture): "And who will 'buddy' her during the NHO (New Hire Orientation) ????!!"

Situation 3: Son & Father

School going Son: "Dad, I want to go to Goa with my friends."

Employee- Dad: " Sure son. Can you quickly write a one pager in terms of the roadmap to get there, what you plan to do there, and the overall estimated cost?"

After 1 day, Son sincerely does the needful....

Employee-Dad: "Firstly, thanks for putting this together. However before I approve, few suggestions- You should use Calibri font size 10, son , stick to the word limit with more details in terms of 'how' rather than 'what' , include the risks you foresee during the trip and the mitigation plans to ensure you remain unscathed!

Frustrated-son: "But Dad, I wrote this with my pencil!! Plus you yourself asked me 'what' are you planning to do there"!!

Employee-Dad: "I hear you and I am principally aligned to this. However, let's get views of the other stake-holders and get everyone's buy-in - please setup a quick meeting with your mother and all other parents of your friends who are........."

Mother (interrupting angrily): "I am not aligned as this was never discussed with me at the start of the year and hence wasn't budgeted for....I am sorry, I don't have resources for this year, you may bring this up before next year's annual planning exercise! "

Son (now assimilating the culture): "There is too much bureaucracy in this house which is slowing down the decision-making....I will be escalating this to all our elders in the family during our next annual family outing!"

And now imagine 'employee' who is tired of the culture and tries some other profession but ...,,,

Situation 4: Employee becomes a gym-instructor

Client: " I want to lose 10 kgs in next 1 month before my wedding and want 6 packs in 2 months- I want you to dedicate your time, effort in making this possible"

Ex-Employee(to his client): " Sir, don't worry, I am not only going to be focused on you, but also will be obsessed about you & while I am happy on the 'high-bar' you have set, but don't lose your long-term vision over short term gains. Let's just focus on cardio for now - hop on to the treadmill"

Working customer-backward!!!

After hopping on to the treadmill, the gym-instructor (aka the ex-employee) sets the speed to 25 kmph straightaway...

Client(gasping): "What are you doing?...it's just my first day..."

Ex-Employee: "Sir, speed matters-slight discomfort will lead to great results"

Client (frustrated): "And what are you doing so close behind me on the treadmill?"

Ex-employee: "Sir, I am just working 'customer-backwards' ....

Client(now assimilating the culture): "Can you show me the "1 way door" out of the gym as I am never coming back?!!!

And thus .....While you can take an employee out of the company but you cannot take the 'company culture' out of the employee!!!

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